Haircuts can be emasculating nightmares -- who wants some frilly salon where your stylist won't shut up about how Kourtney Kardashian should leave Scott, when you'd rather just keep quiet...ly certain they should stay together for the sake of their child. Offering a more pleasurable experience in LoDo, Blokes
Bestowed a golf-lounge vibe by its old-school plaid wallpaper and a reception desk resembling an antique bar, Blokes is a men-only salon where you can enjoy a thoroughly Y-chromosomal grooming experience, starting in a reception area blessed with huge leather chairs and titanic DIRECTV-serviced flatscreens; the idea was hatched by Aussie Alan Jordan along with his wife and stylist daughter -- hit on her, and Alan will make you 'roo the day. Applied in semi-private booths, the standard package kicks off with a scalp massage while your hair's washed & conditioned, then moves on to a ludicrously comfortable barber's chair equipped with a back-sexing lumbar-massage unit; while ensconced, you'll be handed a free beer and personal HDTV remote, and afterwards you'll be hot toweled while treated to two shoulder-massaging minutes from a hand-held Oster Stim-U-Lax, also a reminder that you don't want to pass out while doing that. For the hairier man, wet shaves are available by appointment, while ear/nose/eyebrow waxing can be done in the barber chair or a private back room, where they can also wax your legs/back/arms/chest, making your body smoother than Billy Dee Williams as General Hospital's "Toussaint DuBois". Look it up
Depending on customer interest, Blokes may start offering pedicures -- something about which, for the sake of your children, you should probably just keep quiet...ly certain that if you also get a face-icure you'll look just like Bruce Jenner.