With their just-released EP New Future, German prog gods Total Ghost are set to redefine sex, drugs, rock & roll, and the prevailing wisdom on smoking. Because they might actually be two guys from Denver, we sat down with them to find out just how Total they were:
Why don't you guys introduce yourselves?
Biktor: I am Biktor.
Chön: I am Chön.
How do you spell that?
Chön: That's a very bad question to be asking first. My name is common.
You're originally from "Europe". Do you live in Denver now?
Chön: Oh no. When we bored, we just throw dart at map. We threw and we hit city. City was Fort Collins. We did not like the name of that, so we chose what the next biggest dot and it was Denver.
Have you spent an evening in Denver yet?
Chön: One time we spent an evening there and Biktor met two ladies of the night and he went into back alley and I did not see him for three days. He comes back with a glowing tan and it was beautiful. Wait, did you say Denmark or Denver?
Chön: Oh. Oh, Denver's very nice.
Biktor: Yes. The mountains, they are like Switzerland.
Chön: Yah, like a baby Switzerland.
Biktor: Yes. Only the girls are much fatter here.
You have a song called "Too Fast for the Autobahn". How fast is too fast for the Autobahn?
Chön: The Autobahn is kind of a metaphor for life. And "too fast" really means about how fast your soul is.
Biktor: It means a million miles per hour.
Chön: He's right. It's a million miles per hour.
When you hang out with Kraftwerk, are they all, "We are Kraftwerk. Get out of our VIP area"?
Biktor: Kraftwerk is chintzy. We like to blow up our Lamborghini after show.
Chön: On stage. And most expensive laser show in all of Europe.
Biktor: We buy laser defense system from America.
How did you get to be so rich, or...how did rich get to be so you?
Biktor: Finally a great question.
Chön: Rich lifestyle modeled on us. We get a private jet, Kanye West gets a private jet. We gets a Lamborghini, David Hasselhoff gets a Lamborghini.
Biktor: We were first person to fly hot air balloon around ze world. Richard Branson, he say, "Oh, me want to be like Total Ghost."
Chön: He calls and he say, "How you do this?" And we say, "Don't call. Don't talk to us."
Biktor: He is punk.
Chön: He is virgin. We do not hang out with virgins.
So. Is smoking bad for you?
Chön: It may be bad for you. It's great for us.
Where were you when the Wall came down?
Biktor: We were helping Hasselhoff play his show on top of Berlin Wall.
Chön: Yah. Either that or building our own wall around our own home. We wall ourselves away from everyone else. Until it is time for us to unleash ourselves onto you. All over you. We unleash over each and every one of you.
Thanks for talking to Thrillist. We look forward to listening to your EP.
Chön: Your city is very nice, Denver. Und if you are want to make party, you can find us in twitter und the email und yourtube. Und when do we get paid for this?