There's nothing worse than a disappointingly thin menu, unless you want to be thin, in which case that's actually perfect. For a mess hall with enough options to make sure that never, ever happens, check out Yard House. Rocking 130 taps and an "American fusion menu with over 100 items", Yard's a mammoth, 545-seat, 11,000sqft ode to over-eating: rocking endless flat-panel TVs and a "signature oval bar", it's the 27th iteration of a concept originally started by a DU alum who's just now delivering his baby back to Denver, though given its size, he's probably going to be on bed rest for a little while. The food's as gloriously heavy as the tome-like menu that displays it, with apps like shredded parm/herbs truffle fries and spicy Shanghai BBQ ribs, and mains like a natural Angus burger w/ pepper crusted Gorgonzola/ Marsala-sauteed crimini shrooms, a spicy Thai chicken 'za w/ firecracker sauce/ mozz/ macadamia nuts, an intriguing lobster and garlic noodle dish, and a mac and cheese monstrously overloaded with chicken, bacon, shrooms, cheddar, parm, and truffle oil, though the skateboarding cartoon dinosaur recommends substituting with margarine if you're counting calories. The equally weighty brew-menu's broken down by style (with each category then sub-divided "least to most complex"), with ales ranging from Blondes like Boulder Buffalo Gold to Belgians like Chimay and Victory's Golden Monkey; and lagers ranging from Pales like Kona Longboard, to Ambers such as Colorado Native, to the dark Shiner Bock, which unlike a Shriner Bock, can't fit a hilarious fez over its generous, frothy head. Because such gluttony deserves two beers at once, they've also got combo'd "Beer Blends", like the cleverly named "Rose Gaarden" (Hoegaarden White + Lindemans Framboise), and the "Great Ape" mash-up of Pyramid Audacious Apricot and a stout -- also one thing this place's more than capable of making you.