Sneaker Pimps

At a typical convention, you end up either drooling on your tie during "Excelling at Excel" seminars, or humiliating yourself by losing the "Chewbacca Roar" contest...or worse, winning it. For a convention that actually makes you cooler, hit up Sneaker Pimps

Set in the gallery-like Moore Building in the Design District, Pimps is a touring one-night sneakerhead/street culture convocation that puts kicks buyers, sellers, traders, and beggars in the same room alongside new gear from local vendors, a 1500-strong collection of super-rare sneaks, plus live hip-hop, street & sneaker art, and battles for fabulous prizes, like this new washer and dryer!!! (not really). Local retailers like MIA Skate Shop, Culture Kings, and ATC will be on hand, but the real action is in booths filled by individual collectors and buyers peddling/trading their pride-and-joys; while product's mostly heavy hitters like Nike, Adidas, and Puma, there'll also be stuff from DC, K-Swiss, Saucony, Asics, and many others, and the sky's the limit for price, as some Wu-Tang Dunk Highs sold for five grand recently -- at that price, they'd better make cool even the oldest, dirtiest bastard. There'll also be live sneaker customization by local artists, a skate ramp, live art by pop/street/skateboard artist and Asics collaborator Tokidoki, spun tunes by DJ Clark Kent, DJ Keen One, plus live stuff from hip-hoppers They Live (outta Seattle), and big-namers Clipse and The Cool Kids, who ironically, aren't nearly as cool as They Live

As for the real draw -- contests! -- there'll be a battle on the karaoke game "Lips", in which everyone'll sing Young MC's "Bust a Move" (with an Xbox 360 as the prize), and an Air Yeezy-awarding speed-texting tournament, which you'll want to avoid, to keep your hands fresh for kicking Chewie's ass in monster hologram chess.