First Annual D.O.R.K. Co-ed Kickball Tournament

For a $30 registration fee, D.O.R.K. gets you beers all day, food from Miami Grill Catering like baby back ribs with guava sauce and 1/3-lb sirloin burgers, and most importantly, 4-inning kickball games for which you can register your team (10 or more peeps with a max of six guys) or sign up as a free agent. Winners get prizes like t-shirts and bar tabs; the director advises to kick to gaps in the infield, or just slam it directly at someone and hope they're dorkier than you -- considering they're all playing in a kickball tournament, it's even money.