There are four types of Dirty Sixth patrons: 1. The college kid whose apartment is decorated with empty liquor bottles; 2. The group of 30-something friends who live in North Austin and want to party; 3. The tourist who consulted a 1998 city guide; 4. The small group of people who intentionally visit the few gems "Ol’ Dirty" has to offer.
To help figure out where you belong, we conveniently ranked ALL the bars on Dirty Sixth. However, these are ranked in order of terribleness, so No. 50 is actually the best, and No. 1 is the dirtiest. On with the rankings!
50. Midnight Cowboy
It’s "alright"... (Transparent attempt to dissuade an entire city from stealing every reservation for the next year because Midnight Cowboy is HANDS DOWN the best bar in the entire freakin’ city).
49. Easy Tiger
Modern German-style beer garden with ping-pong, house-made sausages, and bread to go with a spectacular beer selection.
48. Casino El Camino
Gargoyles. Ridiculously loaded-up Bloody Marys on weekends. Always a weird cult film playing. Try the burger and the green chile fries!
47. The Jackalope
Craft cocktails, killer burgers, friendly service for the punk-ish crowd.
Beautiful space and consistently great booking of bands! Check out the calendar.
Dark, moody atmosphere; huge chandeliers, but they keep the drinks simple.
42. Flamingo Cantina
41. Voodoo Room
Nice looking club with VIP coves, bottle service, scantily-clad dancers, and bass that bumps so hard you feel it in your pancreas.
Darts, pool, shuffleboard, Star Trek pinball, that thing you punch... it’s easy to lose a few hours here.
If you like Jackalope and Casino, you’ll appreciate Moose Knuckle.
38. Buckshot Bar
Super-cheap well drinks and TONS of fun shots with names like "Lindsay Lohan", "Gorilla Fart", and "3 Hos and a Reindeer". Good first stop!
Definitely an Irish pub. Chiller, older crowd.
WHEREFORE ART THOU, TINY PITCHER OF BLACKOUT JUICE?
35. Maggie Mae’s
Classic Sixth St appeal with a great rooftop view.
The food and drinks are hit-or-miss. Kind of trashy, but like, fun trashy.
Pro tip: Sunday brunch, AYCD mimosas!
32. Darwin’s Pub
Chill, older crowd, and no douche-bags. Not that much excitement, either.
31. Friends Bar
The bands that play here are generally not terrible.
You know that friend who is like, "I just wanna dance!" This is where she is. With some rando. Who is grinding on her butt.
Like stepping into a time machine — this is the place to go and watch white people just Lose. Their. Minds.
28. Lit Lounge
Looks clean, and there is a relatively decent, well behaved crowd... until 2 am rolls around.
Decidedly dive-y, but people seem to have a good time.
26. Bourbon Girl
They serve alcohol. And food. And there is a band.
25. The Trophy Club
Want to know whether your date is a 10 or a 3? Have her ride the bull -- if the operator gives her a SLOOOOW and EAAASSY ride, keep her. If she gets bucked off and sustains minor whiplash within 5 seconds... put her in a cab home.
22. Cheers Shot Bar
Go in, have a blue shot, then be on your way.
Pretty sure this is an oxymoron.
20. The Rooftop
The poles in this space definitely get some good use.
Not much different from the 47 former incarnations. This brings up a good point: how exactly does one spell the sound bass makes? "Nch, nch, nch"? "Mph, mph, mph"? Well, either way, lots of that.
11. Blind Pig Pub
Where cover bands go to die.
Nothing even remotely French about this place.
You can pay money to watch a man spit fire (and saliva) into your shot! Maybe that’s why it’s so dark in there...
8. The Aquarium
Other than the staff, a total sausage party -- and not the good, locally sourced/artisanal kind.
Just go to Buffalo Billiards.
The bouncers are scary.
4. The 512
Yelp user James S. puts it very eloquently: "This place is probably the wackest (sic) place ive (sic) been to on 6th."
If you are over the age of 23 and have any self-respect (or if you're UNDER 23 and have self-respect), you will steer clear. Sticky bar, sugary drinks, barely legal bros/girls unknowingly reenacting just about everything that ever happened on Jersey Shore.
Really, really (really) depressing.
1. Coyote Ugly
The worst of the worst tourists dance in their bare feet on the bar while sleazy men ogle; an emcee with bruises and a smoker’s voice barks insults at patrons; and tired-looking "bartenders" try to sell $20 body shots. This place puts the "ugly" in Coyote Ugly. Also, Bridget Moynahan is nowhere to be seen.
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