Food & Drink

Every Bar on Dirty Sixth, Ranked From Best to Worst

Published On 11/05/2014 Published On 11/05/2014

There are four types of Dirty Sixth patrons: 1. The college kid whose apartment is decorated with empty liquor bottles; 2. The group of 30-something friends who live in North Austin and want to party; 3. The tourist who consulted a 1998 city guide; 4. The small group of people who intentionally visit the few gems "Ol’ Dirty" has to offer.

To help figure out where you belong, we conveniently ranked ALL the bars on Dirty Sixth. However, these are ranked in order of terribleness, so No. 50 is actually the best, and No. 1 is the dirtiest. On with the rankings!

50. Midnight Cowboy

It’s "alright"... (Transparent attempt to dissuade an entire city from stealing every reservation for the next year because Midnight Cowboy is HANDS DOWN the best bar in the entire freakin’ city).

49. Easy Tiger

Modern German-style beer garden with ping-pong, house-made sausages, and bread to go with a spectacular beer selection.

48. Casino El Camino

Gargoyles. Ridiculously loaded-up Bloody Marys on weekends. Always a weird cult film playing. Try the burger and the green chile fries!

47. The Jackalope

Craft cocktails, killer burgers, friendly service for the punk-ish crowd. 

46. Parish

Beautiful space and consistently great booking of bands! Check out the calendar.

Parish Underground

45. Parish Underground

Gorgeous, much smaller sister bar to Parish with great burgers and damn fine music.
 

44. Majestic

A hidden gem. Sexy two-story dance club. Amazing sound system playing Top 40 jams.
 

43. Burnside’s Tavern

Dark, moody atmosphere; huge chandeliers, but they keep the drinks simple.

Flickr/elchupacabra

42. Flamingo Cantina

#Onelove
 

41. Voodoo Room

Nice looking club with VIP coves, bottle service, scantily-clad dancers, and bass that bumps so hard you feel it in your pancreas.
 

40. Buffalo Billiards

Darts, pool, shuffleboard, Star Trek pinball, that thing you punch... it’s easy to lose a few hours here.
 

39. Moose Knuckle Pub

If you like Jackalope and Casino, you’ll appreciate Moose Knuckle.
 

38. Buckshot Bar

Super-cheap well drinks and TONS of fun shots with names like "Lindsay Lohan", "Gorilla Fart", and "3 Hos and a Reindeer". Good first stop! 

Flickr/Gary J. Wood

37. BD Riley’s Irish Pub

Definitely an Irish pub. Chiller, older crowd.
 

36. Shakespeare’s Pub

WHEREFORE ART THOU, TINY PITCHER OF BLACKOUT JUICE?
 

35. Maggie Mae’s

Classic Sixth St appeal with a great rooftop view.
 

34. Chupacabra Restaurant & Cantina

The food and drinks are hit-or-miss. Kind of trashy, but like, fun trashy.
 

33. Old School Bar & Grill

Pro tip: Sunday brunch, AYCD mimosas!
 

32. Darwin’s Pub

Chill, older crowd, and no douche-bags. Not that much excitement, either.
 

31. Friends Bar

The bands that play here are generally not terrible.
 

30. Barcelona

You know that friend who is like, "I just wanna dance!" This is where she is. With some rando. Who is grinding on her butt. 

Petes Dueling Piano Bar

29. Pete’s Dueling Piano Bar

Like stepping into a time machine — this is the place to go and watch white people just Lose. Their. Minds.
 

28. Lit Lounge

Looks clean, and there is a relatively decent, well behaved crowd... until 2 am rolls around.
 

27. The Chuggin' Monkey

Decidedly dive-y, but people seem to have a good time.
 

26. Bourbon Girl

They serve alcohol. And food. And there is a band.
 

25. The Trophy Club

Want to know whether your date is a 10 or a 3? Have her ride the bull -- if the operator gives her a SLOOOOW and EAAASSY ride, keep her. If she gets bucked off and sustains minor whiplash within 5 seconds... put her in a cab home.

Flickr/elchupacabra

24. Big Bang

Essentially, Agave with new light fixtures and a painting of an atom.
 

23. 311 Club

A no-frills dive pleasantly devoid of the usual Sixth St party crowd.

Cheers Shot Bar

22. Cheers Shot Bar

Go in, have a blue shot, then be on your way.
 

21. The Nook Ampitheater

Pretty sure this is an oxymoron.
 

20. The Rooftop

The poles in this space definitely get some good use.
 

19. Amped

Not much different from the 47 former incarnations. This brings up a good point: how exactly does one spell the sound bass makes? "Nch, nch, nch"? "Mph, mph, mph"? Well, either way, lots of that.

Flickr/elchupacabra

18. Bat Bar

Sadly, the go-go dancer is the only interesting thing about this place.
 

17. Dirty Dog Bar

Taking care of anyone who wears black t-shirts with logos resembling dripping blood/whose preferred music genre ends with "core", or the last few people on earth who like Powerman 5000.
 

16. The Thirsty Nickel

Zzzzzzzz.
 

15. Soho Lounge

Definitely a nice sign, outside.
 

14. The Lodge

Meh.
 

13. The Dizzy Rooster

"Wait, weren’t we just in here?"
 

12. The Library Bar

The only library on earth that actively encourages stupidity.

Flickr/mrlaugh

11. Blind Pig Pub

Where cover bands go to die.
 

10. Toulouse 

Nothing even remotely French about this place.
 

9. Touché

You can pay money to watch a man spit fire (and saliva) into your shot! Maybe that’s why it’s so dark in there...
 

8. The Aquarium

Ummm... no.
 

7. Bikinis Sports Bar & Grill

Other than the staff, a total sausage party -- and not the good, locally sourced/artisanal kind.
 

6. Recess Arcade Bar

Just go to Buffalo Billiards.

KRAVE

5. KRAVE

The bouncers are scary.
 

4. The 512

Yelp user James S. puts it very eloquently: "This place is probably the wackest (sic) place ive (sic) been to on 6th."
 

3. Peckerheads on Sixth

If you are over the age of 23 and have any self-respect (or if you're UNDER 23 and have self-respect), you will steer clear. Sticky bar, sugary drinks, barely legal bros/girls unknowingly reenacting just about everything that ever happened on Jersey Shore.
 

2. 5 Minutes of Fame

Really, really (really) depressing.
 

1. Coyote Ugly

The worst of the worst tourists dance in their bare feet on the bar while sleazy men ogle; an emcee with bruises and a smoker’s voice barks insults at patrons; and tired-looking "bartenders" try to sell $20 body shots. This place puts the "ugly" in Coyote Ugly. Also, Bridget Moynahan is nowhere to be seen.

Sign up here for our daily Austin email and be the first to get all the food/drink/fun in town.

Clickbait

close

Learn More