Caution: slippery when wet
"Most of the time, bartenders just witness people fighting, drinking too much, barfing, falling asleep, and then trying to convince you that they weren't asleep, or not knowing how to use toilets. However, I'm always stunned at the amount of people that try and have sex in a nasty bathroom. Like, there's a good chance moments ago someone was boning on the very toilet that you're using.
One time, I had this couple come and they were getting pretty loose. The woman was married, the guy was not. And he was trying so hard with her. He was feeding her booze all night, getting all close on her, lots of contact, real slimeball stuff. So eventually I realized that both of them were gone and it had been a little too long. Of course, I told the server to check in the bathroom and she came back saying that they were in there.
So I went into the ladies' room and they were in the handicap stall, going at it. Pretty much same ol' song and dance, except I saw that all their clothes were on the floor. As in, both these people were bare-ass naked in the toilet of this bar. I started yelling at them, 'You can't fuck in my bathroom! Get your clothes on and get the fuck out!' I went behind the bar, and when they came out of the bathroom, the woman looked mortified. But the guy, he didn't care, and they sat back down at their booth and tried to order another round.