Since it was couples night I opted not to partake in said dancing but I did sit back and take in the scene for a few moments. I chatted up a nearby middle-aged couple that happened to be eating a plastic boat full of popcorn the bar was giving out. I asked them how often they came to Billy Bob's and they both shrugged their shoulders with mouths full of popcorn and said, “Oh, every other Monday or so because it’s not that busy.” The man looked back and asked, “And you?” I responded nervously, “Oh, you know... when I can.” Hey, I wanted to fit in. He didn’t buy it. I grabbed a boat of popcorn after an awkward silence and watched the dancers spin and shuffle across the floor.
I glanced over to one of the many bar stations and walked over for a drink. As I pulled up to the bar the bartender, Skyy greeted me quickly, with a, “What can I get for yah, hun?” We had small talk for a few minutes, and she agreed to answer some of my burning questions:
Me: What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever seen here?
Skyy: What do you mean? Like bad?
I mean, good, bad, anything crazy?
An older bartender overheard the question and chimed in with, “Tell him about the time that guy went... well... went... to the restroom on a man’s shoe.”
Skyy blushed a bit and said, “Oh yeah, I almost forgot about that one. We had one guy who came in here and got so upset about being asked to leave, he just pulled his pants down and, you know, squatted on the poor man’s shoe and went to the restroom. We have a lot of people who do a lot of crazy things but that was the craziest.”
Do you have any regulars who come in here every day?
Not every day but every weekend for sure. Thursdays are pretty popular days for our regulars as well.
What’s the best day to come with that being said?
Saturday night for sure, for the shows, and as I said, our Thursdays are good here, too. It gets pretty crowded, and it’s a good time.
What’s the most popular drink here?
Well, we make something called a Three Legged Monkey; it's super chilled Crown Royal with Coke and Sprite. It’s a favorite here.
So, like a shot?
How about beer, what’s your most popular beer here?
To be honest, it’s Shiner. I mean we still serve a lot of Miller Lite and things like that, but Shiner is the favorite.
How often do you see famous artists?
Oh, all the time. Friday and Saturday night for sure. Pat Green was just in here most recently but we see a lot of football players, too. I don’t watch much football but you know, all the famous ones.
How about Willie Nelson, does he still come up here?
Oh sure, Willie Nelson was just here a bit ago as well.
Really? Willie? I’m surprised he’s still moving around?
Ha ha, yeah.
Before I asked my next question Skyy took care of a few actual cowboys who were waiting for me to finish. When she wrapped up with them I ordered an ice cold Shiner, and she slid it across the bar. I passed on doing the Three Legged Monkey; I figured I’d play it safe. I sat at the bar a bit afterwards and watched a group of guys play pool, took a few more swigs from my Shiner and for that moment I felt like an actual Texan. While I'm sure city folk were sipping their wine and wearing fancy clothes, it felt genuine and comfortable to just sit there in a honky tonk and be undisturbed with my Shiner.
Across the room I noticed one of those punching games like the one in Urban Cowboy. I quickly finished my beer and sauntered over. After I popped my dollar in the machine a huge punching bag come flying out in front of my face almost hitting it. Two fellas sitting at the bar were snickering softly at my clumsy movements, but I've boxed before, so I would show them a thing or two. As I pulled my hand back and turned into my punch, the punching bag swung back with a huge thud, and I hit the 800 mark. I rolled my sleeves up in approval and walked off, unnoticed by the two fellas who had their eyes on a curvaceous blonde that had now taken the spotlight at the bar.