This block of wall-to-wall parties, boozy demos, and tastings is called the Apres Ski Cocktail Classic, but don't you dare waste any "before" time actually skiing. The Aspen/ Snowmass takeover'll make you forget you're in one the world's best ski spots and possibly your name with event after cocktail-y event, so maybe print this guide out before your memory goes. Thursday
Things kick off with a Retro Apres Opening Night Party from 7-10p at Wildwood. You must RSVP to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Save nearly a month's rent by not buying java in an Aspen coffeeshop, and instead hit up the Barista Prima Coffeehouse Bar for a free cup from 830-1130a.
Saturday's Grand Tasting will be more mobbed than Satriale's Pork Store, so skip the lines and enjoy toddies and 'tails today, plus unlimited sips from big-time distillers like Balvenie/ Hendrick's/ Glenfiddich and smaller batch-makers including Blue Nectar tequila/ Hirsch Small Batch bourbon/ Krogstad aquavit.
Then skip the last hour of the tasting and hit Tiki Time in the Snow with the guy who helped devise the 'tails at Adrift, and pretend you're still capable of focusing on anything while he teaches you the art of tropical drink-making.
Recover with free smoothies courtesy of the berry mavens at Driscoll's, available in Snowmass's The Overlook from 830-1130a.
Laugh in your designated driver's face Thank your DD, then sample seven signature apres-ski 'tails at fine Aspen watering holes on a Pub Crawl that includes the Terrace Bar at The Little Nell, Justice Snow's, and The Red Onion -- fitting, as you'll be crying that the weekend has come to an end.