The Park Tavern
$2 you-call-its make Tuesday nights an acceptable time to party for the first time since you left college, and make Wednesday mornings an ideal time to task "why is my Phone covered in taco sauce" for the first time since ever.
An intelligent, responsible person would continue on to the Super Target to stock up on chips and dip for the game Sunday. You are not that person. Instead you prefer to stock up on lap dances from girls named Chastity, tequila shots, and chili cheese fries, because nothing could go wrong ordering chili cheese fries at a strip club. Don't worry, there's a motel across the street from which you can admire your solitary car in the parking lot the next morning as you question your life's direction.
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