Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Thrillist Detroit is using old-timey newspaper language to inform you that Valentine Distilling Co. has just launched a new gin for you to enjoy in their part-brick-laden bordello bar, part-craft distillery. To wit:
When you first enter, you'll notice Valentine Belle watching over you, making her the hottest illustrated babysitter not named Kristy, Dawn, Mary Anne, Claudia, or whatever that other one was called (okay, fine: Stacey).
To the distillery! Located just beyond the bar, this is where the magic stuff happens, like this batch of juniper berries macerating in Valentine's 94-point-rated vodka for 24-48 hrs
And this is where the even-more-magic happens: the single-batch process involves eight botanicals (also, multiple tastings!) and takes place in a copper-pot still that comes from the oldest producer in Germany.
A very limited amount of the gin has been aged in these new American oak barrels that, much like a couch on Craigslist, are said to be new despite being two years old
Back to the bar! Said super-limited barrel-aged gin is spicier than usual thanks to that aforementioned aging, and is only available at Valentine in cocktails whipped up by their Wu-Tang-sounding "liquid chef"…
... like the Delta Lady, a barrel-aged Liberator base shaken with muddled cucumber & freshly squeezed grapefruit juice, topped with a pinch of lime and a cuke spear that's more cocktail garnish than combat-ready
Here's the non-aged Liberator, named as an ode to the American workers at Ford's Willow Run plant, at one point the largest assembly line in the world, where they manufactured a majority of the WWII-era B-24 Liberator bomber planes. U-S-A! Wik-i-pedia!
Show the proper respect to said American workers by tossing back a few Bombshells -- a 50/50 rocks pour of the (pictured) White Blossom vodka and Liberator gin with a splash of San Pellegrino Grapefruit and freshly squeezed lime
A neighborly affair, this creation pairs Chazzano coffee (roasted down the street on 9 Mile) with the barrel-aged gin for a ridiculously sweet and currently unnamed drink, so you'll just have to ask "liquid chef" Nick for "that thing he made Thrillist".