What to Get Instead of Roses This Valentine's Day
It would take a hurricane to keep The Old Miami from opening its doors, which means you can go from Grandma's couch to... someone else's Grandma's couch. This year, the Old Miami should open around noon on Jesus’ alleged day of birth, and dinner will be served at 2pm.
Ah yes. This bar would likely serve up cheap suds during the apocalypse, so clearly, staying open during Christmas is like any other day of the year. When we inquired as to when the doors might swing open, an unidentified, saucy bartender responded with, “We open at, like, seven. We like to let you sit with your family and stew on that shit for a while. It makes it more exciting when you come in.”
This neighborhood bar is a hidden gem and, of course, open on Christmas Day for its usual stream of loyal locals. Expect the doors to open around “6, 6:30, or so.”
If Keno and Stroh’s don’t appeal to you, hit Roast and keep it classy at one of the best hotel bars in town. Michael Symon himself wants you to have a Merry Christmas.
Southwest’s favorite neighborhood staple would never leave its regulars hanging.
We mean… of course it's open.
This Hamtramck bar, one of the newer dives on the scene, commences Christmas Day hooch-selling around 7pm.
It's true, even on Christmas Day: a Downriver party don't stop... at least, until the Bud Light runs out. Festivities begin at 4pm.
Service with a smile? Maybe. Service when all you need is a one-way ticket to Blottoland? You got it.
This place has more ghosts in its closets than your entire family combined. No but really, Stonehouse is haunted. Belly-up and hope the spirit you meet is as benevolent as Clarence Odbody.
Nestled within the Renaissance Center's Marriott Hotel, here you'll be surrounded by fellow drinkers who skipped town for the holidays on purpose.
Open 365 for your all your vice-related needs. Who needs holiday scratch-offs when you’ve got the 3D version of gambling AND multiple bars to drink at?
Play some Christmas blackjack!
Roll some Christmas craps!
The Painted Lady Lounge is a great bar to go to when you want to booze without anyone knowing (or, more importantly, caring) that your pants have been unbuttoned all day to make more room for ham and Hamm’s.
Your friendly neighborhood house party
It’s been six years now that the Mitten state has been able to purchase libations on Christmas Day (possibly the best thing accomplished by the Legislature under Gov. Rick Snyder’s tenure), so your best bet may just be your buddy’s basement. Hopefully there’s a kegerator and shot roulette