No longer just a hidden reason for a surprise trip home (yay Mom!), Dirty Laundry's now one of the sexiest bars in the city. Why? First off, it's from the Houston Brothers, also responsible for show-stoppers like Pour Vous and La Descarga. Secondly, it's completely hidden underground (underneath their OTHER bar, No Vacancy) with a know-the-password-or-don't-get-in buzzer (find it on their Twitter). Oh also, there's the word "SEX" in big letters as you walk in. For real...
Drinks come from a collective that includes the guy who opened The Apothecary in NYC. Standouts include this Hollywood Park, which you'll bet on since it's got bourbon, mint, cactus, pear, and... Pop Rocks, which is also a nice thing to say about your dad.
Not wild enough for you? What about this barley-infused, rye-based High Desert? May look mellow now...
... but only seconds before, it was literally sparking and aflame, thanks to an on-fire absinthe rinse.
If you like your sexiness totally intimate (and who doesn't?), you can bring it into this teeny-tiny Valentino room, named for Rudy -- who once owned this very bar. There is no room celebrating Sean Astin.
You can get an Almond Old-Fashioned, implying to your date that you're exactly that (old-fashioned, not almond)...
... and she may like this tequila-based Virtuous Sinner -- because hopefully, she is one.
Find out for sure in this hidden-in-the-back dance room, where you can snag a table made from an actual laundry bin or, you know, dance... specifically to DJs from bands like The Black Keys and Florence and The Machine. Tangential but important: if your mom is named Florence, definitely make a Florence and The Washing Machine joke when she does your laundry.
This sexy joint wreaks of pure badass-ery. It's oozing with Almond Old-Fashioned's, zesty tequila drinks, and on-fire absinthe. Oh, and there's a huge dancing section in the back that's hidden.