Decisions, decisions. We make so many decisions each day that we just want to find a happy place where we don’t have to make them anymore, like our favorite bar. The place where the bartender knows what you want before you order, and no one judges you because you’ve worn the same shirt three days in a row. Your bar of choice says a lot about you, so check out these 22 Milwaukee bars to see what message you’re sending.
Juneau Town Getting dressed up for a night on the town means breaking out your cowboy hat and boots. You bribe every girl in a short jean skirt to ride the mechanical bull with a shot of Jaegermeister.
This DIY Pho Bar Lets You Customize the Perfect Bowl of Pho
Historic Mitchell Street Mad Men is your favorite show of all time, and you think this would be a really classy place to celebrate your anniversary next month. There’s at least one leisure suit hiding at the back of your closet, and it wasn’t a Halloween costume.
Burnham Park Your grandparents grew up a few blocks from here after their parents immigrated from “the old country.” Every wedding you attend includes a polka, and you always partake. Pronouncing the tap beers is only slightly harder than pronouncing your last name.
Walker’s Point You work downtown and tell your wife you work until 6pm so you can stop at Art’s every day for an hour before you return to the monotony you call life. You like free food, and you really like Art.
Wauwatosa After graduating from Marquette, you moved to west. You and your bros are trying to relive the good old days on Water St but are too lazy to actually leave your neighborhood. Cinco de Mayo and St. Patrick’s Day are your favorite holidays.
Kilbourn Town You’re not from Milwaukee, and you have an avid interest in Cold War history. Practical jokes are a favorite pastime, as is laughing at the misfortune of others. You have a panic attack if you forget your email password.
Bay View You want to deny that you’re a hipster, but you shouldn’t, because you definitely are. Thankfully, you have expanded your beer horizon beyond PRB. You regularly browse thrift stores for taxidermy and cardigan sweaters.
Kilbourn Town You listened to the piano player in the foodcourt of Mayfair Mall and thought, “I would enjoy this on a Friday night.” Your girlfriend has been here about a dozen times, all with different bachelorette parties.
Story Hill You’re a diehard Brewers fan and you’ve figured out that taking a free shuttle is way cheaper than tailgating. ESPN is your default channel and you think you’re actually going to win money on DraftKings.
Sign up here for our daily Milwaukee email and be the first to get all the food/drink/fun in the Brew City.
Lacey Muszynski is a Milwaukee writer who would not be able to pronounce the beers at Kochanski’s, despite her last name. Follow her @worthhersalt.