For a brief, brilliant moment, there existed a bar downtown called Johnny Tequila’s Drinking Taco. Coarse, bizarre, and implicitly without morals, it was in many ways the epitome of the kind of watering hole we all at some point or another secretly crave: the Bad Decision Bar. But, sadly, the ol’ Drinking Taco fell victim to our classic ‘Sotan unwillingness to so overtly embrace the wrong we are so clearly seeking. We much prefer Bad Decision Bars of a more subtle order. Bad Decision Bars like these:
You’ve just left Target Field and you head across the street to megaplex country bar Cowboy Jack's where, after a few
buckets of $2 domestics, riding their mechanical bull won't feel like what it is: the second-worst decision you've made that day, besides going to see the Twins play.
Admit it... you’ve been making bad decisions at Whisky Park since back in the day when it was The Lodge Bar.
If you went to the U, you've already made the worst decision of your life, but heading to this notorious, awesomely collegiate party bar -- made famous by its beer specials/co-eds who should be at the actual library -- is still pretty bad.
This Irish mega-pub was a Jameson-pouring, St. Paddy’s Day HQ when your grandfather, and your father after, were making the same types of troublesome decisions that indirectly produced you.
Ever heard the phrase “Ain’t no party, like a West Des Moines party”? Liar. You have not. That's why the enterprising barpreneurs behind Uncle Buck’s made the excellent decision to bring this formerly-of-West-Des-Moines “kick ass party bar” to the Warehouse District and ply you with things like $1 domestic bottles and $2 “fireball” shots.
The place that started turning the 'hood into a collar-popping rooftop party zone more than a decade ago. They've got drink specials galore, and the patio that launched a thousand Uptown patios, so the only truly questionable decision would be spending money on Stella’s fish and/or prestigious oysters, instead of on the recently graduated girls who flock there for said drink specials/patio.
Seemingly immune to the changes wrought by places like Stella's, this oversized pub is the place to go if you want to throw peanuts on the floor, shoot some darts, and swill a few two-for-one brews... or 40, since that's what it'd take to try all 80 beers they've got on tap.
1. Whisky Park15 S 5th St, Minneapolis
2. Cowboy Jack's Downtown126 N 5th St, Minneapolis
3. The Library Bar1301 4th St SE, Minneapolis
4. O'Gara's Bar & Grill164 Snelling Ave N, Saint Paul
5. Uncle Buck's25 N. 5th St, Minneapolis
6. Stella's Fish Cafe & Prestige Oyster Bar1400 West Lake St, Minneapolis
7. Williams Uptown Pub & Peanut Bar2911 Hennepin Ave, Minneapolis
Practically free domestics, tons of girls, and practically free sore... ehem, parts, from riding the mechanical bull. Just admit it: you're excited to forget your night at Whisky Park.
The main thing you should leave this bar with: fawning, beautiful women, overcome with desire after seeing you master their famous mechanical bull.
The Library’s been revamped, but the beer specials are just the same as you remember from college. Watch whatever game's playing on one of their many flatscreens or grab some eats from the bar.
O'Gara's is lined with classic beer signs, enormous flatscreens, shuffleboard, and a retooled bar space that serves up crafts and a menu of their "State Fair Apps".
Uncle Buck's Kick Ass Party Bar, filled with stripper poles and a "shot chair" (basically a big barber chair where they pour booze down your defenseless gullet), is sure to make your night one you'll remember. Or, maybe not. Definitely not.
With drink specials galore, the patio that launched a thousand Uptown patios, and throngs of just-graduated coeds coming for both, there are dozens of reasons to go to Stella’s, not least of all their Oyster Orgy Happy Hour.
With 80 drafts and 300 bottles, the guys at Williams have been repping beer bars since when “craft beer” was still just a way brewers would describe what they did for a living. Add to that a selection of bar-side peanuts, and you'll have no legitimate reasons to leave.