You're a one-man tourism bureau for local coffee shops
Not only do you know all the local shops, but also what coffee beans they're serving, the preparation methods, the color of their mugs, the attractiveness of the clientele, fire escape routes, seats with the best light during midday, and which tables are wobbly (all of them!). You also have each and every Wi-Fi code memorized.
You've spent a ridiculous amount of money on a kettle
You swear that the smooth pour of a goose-neck spout is worth as much as an SNES circa 1993.