14. Home distillation is illegal, you dirty criminal
It's illegal to make your own hooch in the US, but with a little help from Risky? Whisky you can age whisky at home while you catch a few Pappy Van Winks. Although it won't technically be bourbon for all sorts of reasons (see #3!), RW has no fear of semantics and asserts that letting their un-aged white dog steep in a glass bottle with charred French oak chips will still result in great-tasting liquor.
Dan Gentile is a staff writer on Thrillist's National Food/Drink team who recently purchased a very nice toaster oven and is excited about exploring the world of crispy reheated food. He also enjoys hating mustard. Follow him to pots of gold/Twitter at @Dannosphere.