Like a sniper, he bears down on anyone not wearing green and pinches them. He’s been drinking for a while, mainly because HR reprimanded him earlier in the day. He came here alone, and will leave that way too.
She refuses to wear any green, yet still decided to go out to the bar tonight because all her friends forced her to. She’s been drinking for a while, mainly because HR reprimanded her for punching the Pincher in the genitals earlier in the day.
The Winking "Irish" Hipster
Although participating in anything so co-opted by the mainstream is usually unthinkable, it isn't if you do it ironically! So he's just kidding about his Dollar Store Irish buttons and perfectly distressed vintage Pogues tee, and also kidding about the green beer he's drinking, and the fun he's having, and, well, actually it's kind of nihilistic and sad.
The Ruddy-Faced Irish Endurance Drinker
He’s been here since the bar opened. Hell, he might have been here since it closed last night. And somehow, despite all laws of physics and human anatomy, he is stone sober. He can prove it by quoting Yeats -- but only if you buy him another double.
The Fake Fightin’ Irishwoman
She claims that she went to Notre Dame, and once made out with the leprechaun who runs out onto the field during games. But she actually just went to St. Mary’s, and once “experimented” with one of the Belles. Either way, it was a magical sophomore year.