All the Kanye-Inspired Beers Stillwater Didn't Make
Baltimore's Stillwater Artisanal Ales just dropped the hottest beer to hit the shelves in a minute: I Miss the Old Kanye, a Dr Pepper-flavored imperial porter. This is Stillwater's third hip-hop tribute beer, following the Kendrick Lamar-inspired Moneytree$ session IPA and Hopvine Bling, a Berliner Weiss straight from the 6ix. Brian Strumke, the founder of Stillwater, is a former DJ and his musical passions inform his celebrated lineup.
While I Miss the Old Kanye is greatness, for sure, we at Thrillist got to thinking about the Kanye-inspired beers that might not have made the cut, all the pilot brews and brewery exclusives that just weren't quite ready for the market. So we strapped on our Yeezys, grabbed our notepads, and headed to the Stillwater brewery in search of these almost-famous brews. What we found could basically be a track listing for a beer-themed secret album.
Fucking Picasso & Escobar smoked habanero porter
Fifty percent more influential than any other craft beer.
That Shit Kriek cherry lambic aged in new French oak barrels
Brew so tart muhfuckas wanna fine me.
Ghetto Pope Pilsner
This Pils is a god, even though it's a beer of God, its whole life in the hand of God. Pairs well with the damn croissants.
Ultra-Lite Beam lager
For everyone that feels they've said "I'm sorry" too many times.
Boost for Breakfast oatmeal stout
Order pancakes and just sip the sizzurp.
Harder, Bitter, Faster, Stronger imperial IPA
Damn, they don't make 'em like this anymore.
Mean Girls gose
And that's how we party.
Awesomeness altbier
It'll only lead you to complete awesomeness at all times. It'll only lead you to awesome truth and awesomeness. Beauty, truth, awesomeness. That's all it is.
No More Parties California common
A backpack brew with luxury taste buds.
Bound 2 brown ale
This that red-cup-all-on-the-lawn shit.
Fly Malcolm Xport stout
This beer become legendary, everything Ye dreamed of.
Jacket Outta Possum extra-pale ale
Tastes like Steve Jobs mixed with Steve Austin.
Panda white chocolate cream ale
Panda panda panda panda panda panda.
Disclaimer: this list is 100% fake, completely made-up malarkey. As wise man once said, "You should only believe about 90% of what I say. As a matter of fact, don't even believe anything that I’m saying at all. I could be completely fucking with you, and the world, the entire time."