Ladies and gentlemen, we've just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story: in case you haven't turned on a TV, read a paper, gone grocery shopping, or had a dream, Ron Burgundy and the Channel 4 News Team are back this week, and it's kind of a big deal. We are in a glass case of excitement. So much excitement, in fact, that we can't even concentrate on our leather-bound books, so we turned to Oregon Bartenders Guild President Brandon Wise to help curb our emotions with these Burgundy-approved cocktails. Get ready for a trip to Pleasure Town.
Ron's Old, Old Fashioned
- 3 fingers of Ron Burgundy Scotch (Yep, it’s a real thing. Drink it in.)
- Pinch of black pepper
- 2 dashes orange bitters
- 1 sugar cube
- Orange peel
- Some, uh, cheese... for garnish
Pleasure Town Flip (Oh, We're Going There)
- 1 oz creme de menthe
- .5 oz Fernet Branca (Considered by many to be the Sex Panther of the spirits world. It is pungent. Stings the nostrils. Then again, to some, that's what desire smells like.)
- .5 oz Mud Puddle chocolate vodka
- .5 oz heavy cream (milk is a bad choice for this)
- .25 oz rich demerara syrup
- 1 whole egg (preferably from an unpunched ovary)
- 2oz Cruzan Black Strap rum (It’s pirate rum... but what Brian didn't tell you is it's not for real pirates. Sure looks convincing, though.)
- .5oz orange juice
- .5oz lemon juice
- .25oz B.G. Reynolds Falernum syrup
- 2 dashes angostura bitters
Stay classy, Thrillist.
Andy Kryza is Thrillist's National Eat/Drink Senior Editor, and has proudly lived vegetable-free since 2001. Follow his adventures/slow decline via Twitter at @apkryza.
Brandon Wise runs the bar program at Imperial and Portland Penny Diner, and presides as President of the Oregon Bartenders Guild. Behold his expertise on Twitter @brwise.