London-based product designer Joshua Renouf has been working tirelessly to get his baby ready for its anticipated September 2017 debut, successfully crowdsourcing over $500,000 to fund the project's final stages. The alarm itself is sleek AF, all stainless steel, glass, and smooth wood. The coffee set-up sits on a removable tray for easy cleanup and maximum breakfast-in-bed potential. As the video explains, there's a ton of science behind this life-giving gadget, none of which I truly understand, but the TL;DR is that this is a high-tech, finely tuned machine. All you have to do is fill her up at night, set the timer, and the next thing you know you're waking up to the intoxicating scent of piping-hot caffeine.
Of course, nothing this nice comes cheap. The Barisieur is set to retail for $420 once released and if you're particularly thirsty, you can currently get your pre-order on for a mere $300 through Renouf's Indiegogo page.
So, if anyone finds themselves with a few extra hundo in about a year's time, my mailing address is Meredith Heil C/O Thrillist, 568 Broadway, Suite 507, New York, NY 10012. Everyone I know thanks you in advance.