Tales of seduction
"This bartender I knew in Westlake Village had this married couple come in all the time. The guy was loaded and his wife was always decked out. You could tell she was way out of his league, but he had money. He was the kind of guest that would always berate waitstaff and tip like s**t. So one day towards the end of the night, he closed his bill and said to the bartender in front of everyone, 'I got a tip for you: get a real job.' The bartender replied with, 'I got a tip for you. Pull your wife's hair during sex. I did it to her last week when you were out of town and she loved it.'
"The wife just kept saying 'I am sorry' over and over again."
"There's this dude who always comes in who sold some s**ty tech company Mark Cuban-style for a lot of money during one of the bubbles, and talks about all his Teslas and s**t, and how he could own this bar, and buy this and that. Literally, whenever he's out at some Ted Talk or golfing with Marissa Mayer or whatever they do, I have sex with his girlfriend, who is kind of a s**tty lay and has some weird demons of her own, but that's obviously not the point. Anyway, whenever he's in, I always send them over shots and toast 'to the things you'll learn tomorrow', which he thinks is some Zen bulls**t, but I actually literally mean finding out that I'm having sex with his girlfriend."