Green Bay Packers
Their beer: New Glarus Brewing's Serendipity
In this case, Serendipity would consist of Aaron Rodgers' clavicles remaining intact and not seeing the 49ers in the playoffs.
Their beer: Saint Arnold's Weedwacker
These are not last year's Texans. For Texan fans, this is a very good thing, as that team went 2-14. They lost 14 straight. Like the Saint Arnold's beer name, the front office took a WeedWacker to the roster -- gone are Schaub and head coach Kubiak. It'd be difficult for this year's team to be worse. Even if they do end up being horrible, the piling losses would be easier to take with this German-style wheat beer in your hand.
Their beer: Three Floyds Brewing Co.'s Alpha King
In the early aughts, that Alpha King in Indy was Peyton Manning. But now he’s drinking SO MUCH GOOD BEER in Colorado, that the Team of Quarterbacks wisely went with the bold, yet balanced next Alpha King and occasional wearer of a sexy neck beard, Andrew Luck. Also, if they really wanted to be awesome and make this pick seem very spot-on, they could trade for Michael Floyd, Malcom Floyd, and unsigned free agent guard Floyd “Pork Chop” Womack. DO IT FOR US!