Their beer: Brewer's Art St. Festivus Holiday Ale
Sure, Natty Bo's the beer of Baltimore, but this is all about finding a beer for the Ravens. And nothing says the Ravens like that Electric Slide-type dance Ray Lewis used to do pre-game. Since dancing will only keep you so warm during a Baltimore tailgate in December, bottles of St. Festivus will do the rest. A winter seasonal released around Thanksgiving, this 8% ABV brown winter ale from the acclaimed brewpub is the perfect antidote to the cold. And it'll help Ravens fans forget that everyone on the team is in their mid-50s, and their best receiver is a 35-year-old Steve Smith.
Their beer: Labatt Blue
Umm, cause that's, like... what you drink at Bills games.
Their beer: NoDa Brewing Company's Hop, Drop 'n Roll
Cam Newton is the face of the Panthers (and of that Play 60 commercial where a little kid owns him), and a man who has a serious motor. Speaking of motors, there's a big ole one in the car pictured on NoDa's Hop, Drop 'n Roll can, which hauled in a gold medal at the World Beer Cup for American-style IPA. And anytime you have a hoppy beer, you'd expect a little bitterness -- something plenty of Panthers fans will feel when they flame out in the first round of the playoffs again.
Their beer: Revolution Brewing Co.'s Straight Jacket
Expectations are high for the team this year, what with a pair of All-Pro receivers and Jay Cutler's second year in Marc Trestman's offense. But they forgot to fix their safeties or linebackers, which means losing a bunch of 41-38 games again will likely leave fans having a breakdown/reaching for this boozy barrel-aged barleywine.
Their beer: HuDey Beer; Rhinegeist's Truth
Nothing is going to be more Bengals than a beer with their mascot on it. A fan recently tried to chug a can, and failed miserably. Probably because it was over 20 years old, and beer doesn't age well in cans. For a beer that reps this year's Bengals, it's Truth, an American IPA brewed by Rhinegeist. They won the division last season and blew it again in the first round. To tell you the Truth, we're not sure Dalton can take them to the next level.
Their beer: Great Lakes Brewing Company's Lake Erie Monster
Johnny Football is on the team!! Hooray! With him and Lebron, the city is sav... wait, did he just flick off the other team? And throw for like 89 yards all preseason? And maybe feel like he needed to discuss his rights as a 21-year-old to enjoy clubs to the media? You guys didn’t necessarily create this monster, but here he is, likely living in a new development high-rise condo right next to Lake Erie. Good thing this stuff is 9.1%.
Their beer: Deep Ellum's Dreamcrusher Double Rye IPA
Romo has won one playoff game in his long and (so far) un-storied career. And the offense is the only potential bright spot for the seemingly perennial 8-8 team, which has already lost Sean Lee for the year. That does not bode well for America's Team, whose fans are used to having their dreams crushed in the past 10 years. How fitting, then, that Deep Ellum has canned the Dreamcrusher, a super-hoppy double rye IPA.
Their beer: Wit's End Brewing Company's Bitter Late Than Never
Everyone remembers how the Broncos ended their season last year. But Broncos fans are a forgiving bunch -- they waited 10+ years for Elway to win his first Super Bowl with the team, and while Manning doesn't have the luxury of 15 more years in a uniform (though he might spend the next 15 years making Buick commercials), they'll stick with him until the end. Bitter Late Than Never is, according to the brewery, based on the "Premium Bitter" style -- a fleeting mindset of Broncos fans they'll likely jettison by kickoff. It would surprise no one to find them back in the Super Bowl again this year.
Their beer: Detroit Beer Co.'s The Detroit Dwarf
Yeah, Matthew Stafford, Megatron, blah blah blah. The best Lion of all time was Barry Sanders -- he was listed at 5'8", but he looked like a little kid running through a forest of Redwoods. And so Lions fans are best off raising a glass of this Great American Beer Fest-winning altbier while they watch Eric Ebron try to haul in whatever garbage Stafford is throwing at him.