If you're from the Detroit area, Faygo -- the local pop known for flavors like Rock N' Rye, Redpop, and Moon Mist -- just might be your favorite soda. And no one loves Faygo more than Juggalos and Juggalettes, the crazed face-painted fans of the hardcore hip-hop duo Insane Clown Posse (known as ICP).
The two members of ICP, Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope, are Detroit natives and longtime Faygo fans. As legend has it, at a concert early in ICP's career, Violent J hurled a 2-liter bottle at some hecklers, spraying soda across the crowd. And thereafter, Faygo became the unofficial official beverage of Juggalos and Juggalettes everywhere.
Now, an ICP concert ain't an ICP concert without enough "Faygo Showers" to drench an entire audience. Every Juggalo knows the feeling of getting root beer in their hair or a 2-liter bottle to the face. Seriously. If you don't love Faygo, you can't be a Juggalo.
So we roped three Juggalos into ranking every Faygo flavor we could get our hands on. Michael Chelune, Michael Fratelli, and Jesse Bowman, who will hereafter be referred to by their Juggalo names: Mikey, G-Mike, and J Breezy, taste-tested 33 bottles of Faygo (21 sugary flavors, plus 12 diet versions). They rated each on a scale of one to 10 based on tastiness and mouthfeel. Whoop whoop!
In the words of G-Mike, "There are just some things you can't soda." And it turns out that peaches are one of them. "I hate this, it sucks. It tastes like shit. It's bitter, it's sweet, it's sour, what the fuck is going on? It's like, you ever get soap in your eyes? And then that soap in your eyes gets in your mouth? That's what it tastes like," said Mikey.
What you see is what you really get with Faygo. Its flavors, like Juggalos themselves, are not exactly subtle. So if you're someone who always avoids the pineapple in fruit cups, stay far away.
Mikey: "This one's awful. It tastes like biting into a pineapple."
J Breezy: "A fizzy pineapple, yeah."
G-Mike: "It's like if you just put a pineapple under a SodaStream."
29. Diet Peach
Usually diet sodas are the inferior, weird-tasting siblings of regular sodas. But in this case, the artificial sweeteners somehow made the diet peach soda way more palatable than the regular version the Juggalos hated.
Mikey: "It's palatable. It wasn't too sour."
G-Mike: "It tastes like peach Snapple. But again, you shouldn't carbonate a peach Snapple."
This lemon-lime soda is Faygo's version of Sprite. (The nearly identical label all but spells it out.)
"It's clearly a Sprite rip-off," said Mikey. "But it's lighter." At the end of the day, somehow the diehard Faygo fans said they would rather go with the Sprite. "It's totally not as good as Sprite," Mikey firmly declared.
27. Diet Redpop
One of the original three sodas released when Faygo was founded in 1907, Redpop is probably the most classic Faygo flavor. While it used to be called strawberry soda, most people, including the Juggalos, weren't aware that it was supposed to taste like the fruit. They weren't exactly thrilled about the diet version. "It tastes like literally the word 'red,' not like a food," said J Breezy. Mikey didn't get any fruit notes either. "It tastes like when you put a battery in your mouth."
26. Diet Moon Mist
Moon Mist has nothing to do with the moon, nor is there anything misty about it. But it is Faygo's version of Mountain Dew (and just as lime green). While the Juggalos were not sure about the origin of the name, they were sure about one thing: The diet version is definitely not as great as the original. "My theory is, Faygo's all sugar, so if you take away the sugar you're not even really drinking Faygo," said G-Mike. "It's the most bubbly of the diet sodas, but not as good as regular Moon Mist," Mike added.
25. Diet Orange
Orange things, whether they be presidents or diet sodas, aren't winning any popularity contests lately. "Some of these flavors suck, but it's like your kids, you have to love them. This is like drinking a juice almost. It's like you had the SodaStream thing and you just did one squirt," said G-Mike.
While Redpop might be the most famous of the Faygo flavors, it's not universally beloved by the Juggalos. While it's G-Mike’s favorite out of the bunch, Mikey couldn't agree less. "This is probably the shittiest soda they have." J Breezy was also not super-hyped about Redpop. "It's like cough syrup just with bubbles. I feel like this stuff would definitely change the color of my teeth if I drank a whole bottle." He's probably right.
23. 60/40 (grapefruit and lime)
This soda is 60% grapefruit, 40% lime, and apparently 100% good to some of the Juggalos. The Squirt-like soda got a seriously inspired response from Mikey: "I don't like grapefruit at all, and lime, who likes lime, but this is an amazing fucking soda. I'm not passionate about a lot of things, but this is a really good soda."
Faygo describes this as "bubbly, sweet ginger soda," but don't mistake it for ginger ale. It's more like if ginger ale and cream soda had a baby and put it in a bottle. Not all the Juggalos were loving it. "This is not ginger ale. It's terrible. It just doesn't taste like ginger ale should taste," said Mikey. "It tastes like there's honey in it and... bark. It's almost like a carbonated tea. Like vegan San Francisco shit, you know."
21. Diet Twist
While regular Twist wasn't a Juggalo favorite, the diet version of the Sprite knockoff was well-liked. "This was more fizzy than the original. More flavorful," said G-Mike. "I would drink it again."
20. Diet Creme Soda
While Juggalos are fans of a number of diet sodas, Diet Creme Soda isn't one of them. Unfortunately, being sugar-free didn't do this flavor any favors. "It tastes almost like shaving cream. You can smell it in your mouth," Mikey said.
19. Fruit punch
Two of the Juggalos gave the brightly colored soda a straight 10 out of 10, but G-Mike wasn't fond of the flavor at all. "This tastes like cough medicine," he said. "It's giving me flashbacks to downing that shit before school."
18. Diet 60/40
The Juggalos’ feelings towards the diet 60/40 also weren’t 100% unanimous. But Mikey was a fan of its more delicate taste: "It's just a lighter version. It's like they took the 60/40, poured half out, poured in water, and shook it up."
17. Dr. Faygo
Faygo wasn't exactly subtle when naming this cherry-and-vanilla soda that is reminiscent of its more popular competitor. The Juggalos were into it, but preferred Dr Pepper at the end of the day. "Dr Pepper pops in your mouth. This tastes lighter. You can taste why it's a dollar," said Mikey.
16. Blueberry Raspberry
While neither blueberries nor raspberries are electric-blue, this soda most definitely is. It's also not the only soda Faygo makes in this color. While the Juggalos didn't get any berry notes, they were fans.
Mikey: "It smells like blue."
G-Mike: "It's like the Italian ices they sell at pizzerias."
15. Diet grape
The deep-purple soda is a Juggalo favorite. But they were less impressed by the diet version. "I feel like it tastes less grapey," J Breezy succinctly explained.
14. Creme Soda
Creme Soda, which is known for being quite sweet, was a Juggalo favorite. "It tastes great. It tastes unhealthy good," Mikey said. The only complaint? The flavor takes a minute to build. "I just feel like all the flavor is literally at the ass-end of the sip. You could drink the whole thing and there's nothing there, and then as soon as you're about to swallow, that's all the cream right there," added J Breezy.
Grape is another one of the three original Faygo flavors and it is a classic for a reason. "The grape is really grape. It punches you in the face," said Mikey. "This stuff is definitely destroying your insides but it tastes great," J Breezy noted.
12. Cherry cola
Cherry just works with cola, the way that peanut butter is just right with jelly. G-Mike had high praises for Faygo's cherry cola: "I am a Cherry Coke fan, and this is right up there with it."
11. Candy Apple
Launched in 2012, this is one of Faygo's newest flavors and according to the Juggalos, it really does taste like a liquified and carbonated candy apple. (But unlike the real thing, it doesn't get stuck to your teeth.)
Mikey: "This is like liquid candy."
G-Mike: "Faygo tastes like it smells: delicious."
J Breezy: "It tastes like Play-Doh, but I like it."
10. Cotton Candy
This bright-blue flavor tastes just like the cotton candy you can buy by the bag at carnivals. And according to the Juggalos, cotton candy Faygo is a favorite of Juggalettes, their female counterparts.
G-Mike: "This is a chick flavor. It's the Four Loko of Faygo."
Mikey: "I guess girls really like cotton candy."
9. Diet Rock N' Rye
Rock N' Rye is a beloved Faygo flavor and probably one of the most unique and nuanced sodas the company makes. It’s named after an old-school cocktail made with rye whiskey, rock candy, citrus, and bitters. Juggalos love even the diet version. "I feel like a lot of the diets are flatter, but this is still really f*cking good," said J Breezy.
8. Diet cola
This is just your standard diet cola, but the Juggalos were fans of its froth. "It's a foamy soda. I like the way it looks. It's erotic," said Mikey.
7. Ginger ale
The Juggalos weren't into Faygo's ginger ale much more than Faygo Gold. But they admitted that while they are diehard Faygo fans, they prefer other ginger ales on the market.
G-Mike: "I like how the bottles are just enough like the brand they're trying to copy."
Mikey: "This one tastes like a decent Canada Dry."
G-Mike: "You know how some ginger ale says, like, '100% ginger'? This definitely isn't."
6. Pineapple Watermelon
This hot-pink soda definitely leans more artificial watermelon than artificial pineapple, and the Juggalos loved it, giving it a high ratings across the board.
Mikey: "It smells nice. It smells like floor cleaner."
G-Mike: "Not floor cleaner, how does floor cleaner smell nice? It smells like Jolly Ranchers."
5. Diet ginger ale
The marker of a good diet soda is when it doesn't taste diet and that is the case with Faygo's version. None of the Juggalos could initially tell that it was flavored with artificial sweeteners.
J Breezy: "It tastes just like regular ginger ale!"
Mikey: "Yeah, that's the first time we've said that about a diet."
The one thing All That’s Kel Mitchell has in common with Juggalos is that they all really, really, really love orange soda.
G-Mike: "This a classic. It's the 'Stairway to Heaven' of Faygo."
Mikey: "This is a thick soda. I feel like it's going to get stuck to my stomach lining in the best way."
3. Diet root beer
Juggalos used to spray other flavors at ICP concerts, but G-Mike says that diet root beer is now the only flavor that is allowed at shows. This is because it doesn't eat through all the wiring at concert venues. So it's no surprise that the Juggalos loved this flavor. "I'm used to having this shaken and thrown at me. It tastes like an ICP concert. When it's hot and you're just like, 'thank God,'" G-Mike said.
It turns out Juggalos have a very discerning palate when it comes to regular colas.
Mikey: "I prefer Faygo cola over Coca-Cola all day. But I'm more of a Pepsi fan. This is like a stronger Pepsi but a weaker Coke. It's a happy medium, which is what makes it better."
G-Mike: "I'd say this tastes like Coke but not Pepsi."
1. Rock N' Rye
Faygo describes this flavor as "a dreamy vanilla cream soda with just a kick of something that may or not be cherry." The Juggalos had some other tasting notes to offer.
Mikey: "How many companies out there are this diverse? I mean they have a rye soda, are you kidding me?"
J Breezy: "It tastes like Coke with a splash of Redpop."
Mikey: "With Robitussin. The good Robitussin, not the shitty one. The grape Robitussin."
1. Root beer
Root beer is probably the most popular flavor for all Juggalos because it's at every ICP show. The three Juggalos (and even Bon Appetit) loved this soda.
Mikey: "This is a classic. Everyone sells this at the Gathering."
G-Mike: "Yeah, you get the nostalgia taste."
Mikey: "It tastes smooth, it's a positive bubble."
G-Mike: "Like the Sean Connery of soda."
Mikey: "I think it's the best root beer on the market."
1. Moon Mist
They Juggalos were, well, over the moon about the regular Moon Mist flavor.
Mikey: "It's pleasant. You could drink this on the beach and chill, you know?"
J Breezy: "I feel like Moon Mist is a flatter Mountain Dew."
Mikey: "Yeah, and Mountain Dew has a scary taste to it, but this is real pleasant."
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