4. Bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich
I really, really wanted this to be higher. I've pretty much sworn by this method since the first time I sipped alcohol, which was obviously on my 21st birthday. Is my brain just pre-wired to respond to the grease-laden combination of the eggs and bacon? Does the bread soak up the booze swirling in my stomach? Does the layer of cheddar awaken endorphins in my spinal cord that fill my body with a crack-like sense of affirmation and goodwill? I'm not sure. But if you are well enough to scarf one of these suckers down, it does the trick.
3. Smoking weed
- Settles stomach
- Sense of euphoria
- Helps headache
- Increases appetite
- Makes you high (also a pro, but not if you have stuff to do)
- Possibly illegal... which is a pretty big con. A con that might turn you into a con. Proceed at your own risk, bro-ham.
2. IV drip
I have insider information that over-partying doctors and surgeons have been stringing themselves up to IVs the morning after for decades, and for good reason: This shit really works. If you don't have a medical degree, outfits like New York's IV Doc will come to your home or office -- nurse in tow -- and deliver a calculated cocktail of vitamins, saline, nausea medication, and more straight into your veins. It's an… odd experience. It literally feels like ice water running through your veins (not in a clutch, Ray Allen type of way, but like you're mainlining a Slurpee) and it's pretty pricey and elaborate. But if you need to quell a hangover MF'ing ASAP because you have a big presentation or are about to be sworn in as a United States senator, this is probably the best way to do it. Unless you are afraid of needles, obviously. Or nurses. Or IV poles.