OK, look. This is a movie about Toby Keith fighting drug lords that I’ve seen far more times than I care to admit, and that isn’t really about beer... but has been included because this is the movie that made me realize that Toby Keith is terrifying -- and that this movie co-stars the also-terrifying Ted Nugent, Barry Corbin, and David Allan Coe -- and I don’t want him to be like, “Hey, internet writer, you didn’t include muh movie, so you and me have issues” and then steal my wife after he beats the shit out of me. But if that did happen, I bet he’d leave my mangled body with a six pack (one removed... for his horse) next to me.
Ralph Macchio deserves better than this Artie Lange vehicle. Also, the public deserves much better than enduring the words “Artie Lange” and “vehicle” together in any capacity other than “Artie Lange was taken away in a police vehicle on charges related to Beer League.”
11. Beer (1985)
You very likely haven’t seen this movie, which centers more on beer advertising than on actual beer, but it involves David Alan Grier, which is reason enough to start drinking while you watch it. It does, however, star Rip Torn, who once beat the shit out of Norman Mailer, and who is also a fan of beer. Should this movie inspire you to watch that video, then it’s done its job. But should I have inspired you to watch it (here it is! Watch it now!), then you can skip this piece of crap.
Back in the late '70s and early '80s, there were a lot of films about small town factories and the man coming to take over. This one's about a douchey corporate dude who returns to his home town to get the local brewery back into shape. It stars Barbara Hershey, the pilot from Airplane!, and monster truck Bigfoot. That's right. It's like Norma Rae, but co-starring a monster truck and enough rednecks to fill a convoy.
Gene Wilder as a mental patient pretending to be a brewery heir! Richard Pryor as... a Richard Pryor type! A movie so bad, these two never made another movie together!
Canada, you so crazy... so crazy that you make a movie about a beer baroness during Prohibition who holds a contest to see which country’s the saddest, and it’s all old-timey and probably as pretentious as it sounds. But it does include a prosthetic leg being used as a drinking vessel, solidifying my theory that Isabella Rossellini requires in 78% of her films to include prosthetic limbs, or at least leg braces.