13. The brotender
This guy watched that one scene in Crazy, Stupid, Love. where Ryan Gosling makes an Old Fashioned on repeat. So he's pretty sure he knows more than the bartender about how to make "real cocktails." He tried to hit on a woman by saying, "I'm pretty sure they don't even make their own ice here," and scoffing loudly, but for some reason she wasn't interested.
SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS! EVERYBODY!
11. EDM bro
It seems like he's on Molly right now. He's not, but he has taken it at every electronic music festival he's attended. And since there's seemingly one every weekend between New Year's and Christmas -- not just between Christmas and New Year's -- it's definitely changed his brain chemistry somehow. He's a little... slower. But maybe happier? It's tough to tell. He's wearing a mesh neon hat backwards, Kanye shutter shades, and no shirt even though it's -3 outside. But hey, at least he has found his tribe. Let him enjoy it.
10. Emotional bro
He loves to watch YouTube videos of puppies frolicking while nursing his drink. He writes poetry on bar napkins and hands them out to women he's interested in. He tells everyone his favorite artist is Sara Bareilles, but he doesn't even know how to pronounce her last name. "Love me some Bare-Isles," he says.