Wait, Why Was There $55 Million Worth of Cocaine in a Coca-Cola Factory?

Coca cola boxes
defotoberg / Shutterstock.com
defotoberg / Shutterstock.com

Ah, France, a land where the wine flows like LaCroix, baguettes come in vending machines, and Coca-Cola employees seem to have taken a decidedly old-school approach to their soda production.

You probably know that Coke used to contain actual cocaine in its original formula. It's pretty suspicious then that this August, officials discovered a €50 million stockpile of nose candy in a French Coca-Cola factory in Signes, a village in Southern France, after tracing a slew of drug bags from an orange juice shipment in South America. That would be about 370kg. So, almost as much cocaine as one night at Studio 54 with Rick James. It's one of the biggest drug busts on French soil.

But the big question is: why the heck was it there in the first place? Is Coca-Cola going super old-school, with a nose beer-infused "1800s Coke"?

Um, no. 

According to a local French site, Var-Matin, Jean-Denis Malgras, the regional president of Coca-Cola said, "The first elements of the investigation have shown that employees are in no way involved." 

So how did a mountain of white girl end up in a Coca-Cola factory in the middle of France? According to a BBC report, Coca-Cola and French authorities are fully investigating the situation, but have not released any hot tips... yet. 

My theory? Keith Richards was in town recording the next Stones album, needed a quick spot to hide his stash, and in a state of perpetual confusion later on thought he had hidden it at the local Pepsi plant instead.

It just makes too much sense. 

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