In addition to peddling caffeine and flirting for tips, baristas have another serious responsibility: the sacred role of the DJ. No matter how good the coffee or free the Wi-Fi, terrible tunes are the aural equivalent of spitting in your drink, and nobody wants that type of dirty chai.
Java-slinging iPhone jockeys take note, here are 13 such tunes that should never reverberate off walls hung with crappy local artwork ever again.
Modest Mouse - "Float On"
Alright, already. It was understandable to enjoy this when it came out in 2004, but after 11 years reigning as the ultimate indie crossover hit, there's simply no joy left to squeeze out of this song. Especially in the context of a coffee shop, where this type of jangly guitar is the equivalent of pink sugar packets: always present, but for no discernible reason.