The McDonald's Guy
He thinks the lawsuit over the coffee being too hot was ridiculous, because that's the main reason he goes there.
The Stevia Addict
This person deserves your sympathy because they'll soon have cancer. Thought we were gonna do the Breaking Bad spoiler? We're not gonna do the Breaking Bad spoiler! Wait, did we just do a Breaking Bad spoiler?
The Chemex Snob
Yes, the glass Chemex brewer makes a great cup of coffee, but no, it does not belong in a contemporary art museum.
French Press Hard-On Guy
Just choke down those grounds and tell people about how you stayed in a hostel in Nice that one time.