“I'll see you at the latte art throwdown.”
This is a thing that people go to and enjoy.
“How is the espresso pulling today?”
What a fickle beast an espresso machine is! So complicated, temperamental, and moody. Did it eat a nice breakfast? Get a decent night's sleep? All important factors to ask your barista about.
“Do you have anything other than drip coffee?”
If this is a question you have to ask, the answer is obviously no. Chill out and live a day like the plebes with a regular coffee that didn't take three minutes of slow, circular hand-pouring to make.
“Yeah, this coffee is really good...”
When it's definitely not. This might be the most likely thing you'll hear from a coffee snob outside of his native habitat. Even the worst snobs know when to take a sip, smile, and not take another sip.