With over 300 locations spanning seven western states, Dutch Bros has grown into a veritable caffeination empire since opening in 1992. The chain's drive-thru kiosks are nearly as ubiquitous in the Pacific NW as pine trees and outdated "Bernie or Bust" bumper stickers.
Dutch Bros functions as the antithesis to the bougie coffee culture of the region that spawned it. Due to its preference for chatty baristas, flavored syrups, and loud pop music, most “serious” coffee people have distanced themselves from its colorful, sugary wares, discounting the chain as a hybrid of a Starbucks drive-thru and Abercrombie & Fitch at its pre-Jersey Shore cultural apex.
The Grants Pass, Oregon-based brand is certainly unapologetic about employing young, effusive, and spiky-haired "broistas" (their term!) named Tanner in lieu of mumbly, Aeropress-obsessed beardos who can’t possibly be paid enough to act like they care (full disclosure: that’s me!). But it’s high time the coffee-drinking people of America shed the notion that Dutch Bros’ intense experiments with sugar and caffeine are for the boorish and unsophisticated and accept it as what it is: the In-N-Out of the coffee world, complete with an extensive secret menu and cultish regional following.
That secret menu -- which is so "secret" that employees have corporate-approved printouts on hand to decode it -- is a rolling database, with fan-favorite concoctions added on a monthly basis. The thing is so massive, it makes In-N-Out's secret/not-secret menu look like White Castle. With everything from lattes to milkshakes to blended energy drink-based beverages on offer, the secret menu at Dutch Bros is a stunning display of everything there is to love about the place.
But it's… a lot. To find the best of the dozens-deep offerings, we approached a Dutch Bros barista in Portland to walk us through a greatest-hits lineup of drinks that span a wide spectrum of flavors, temperatures, and textures, creating a perfect jumping-off point for anyone who’s willing to hit up their nearest Dutch Bros and roll the dice on something wild and weird. Without further ado, here are 14 secret menu drinks that are guaranteed to get you jacked at Dutch Bros.