We live in a time when classic and craft cocktails are a social norm. Skilled, creative bartenders and establishments exist in almost every city, ready to make liquid masterpieces, from an old-school Manhattan with just the right vermouth to signature drinks with ingredient lists that sound forged in Hogwarts.
So why the hell are you ordering a murky, dishwater-colored booze bomb that had its heyday in 1986? We don't have the answer to that, but we do know just how America's best bartenders feel when you order a cocktail containing the following words: nipple, beach, island, sunrise, slam... you get the idea. These are the drinks bartenders will surely make you, but with a side order of embarrassment.