Frozen Beer Slushie Maker
7-Eleven Slurpees are OK and all, don’t get me wrong, but I always felt they were missing something, but couldn't quite put my finger on it until Kirin invented the Frozen Beer Slushie Maker. Now I realize what was missing my entire life thanks to this thing, which completely eliminates the need to just dump a shot in a Slurpee.
Now there is a reason to save your old beer bottle caps (other than that home bartop that you are never going to finish, so stop hoarding). Instead, annoy your family, friends, co-workers, small animals, and neighborhood children by shooting beer caps at them with the incredible accuracy of a sniper with beer breath thanks to this thing, which looks like a box cutter, functions as a bottle opener, and fires caps up to five meters.