What the hell are cocktails in a can?
One thing they're not: Four Loko. These are Signature Cocktails by Loko. Strangely, Loko is not the name of the company releasing these. That's Phusion Projects. Four Loko doesn't even exist anymore in its previous form, which was effectively banned by the FDA for adding caffeine to malt liquor. These have no caffeine in them. Just booze. Got it?
So what the hell are they, then?
This is malt liquor squeezed into a tall-boy. Our guess is that they're designed to appeal to people who want delicious cocktail flavors without the drudgery involved in mixing two or more types of liquor together. Young drinkers! 21-year-olds who are slowly dipping their toes into a great big pool of booze.
That's why, for this taste-test, I asked my girlfriend to tell me if she would've drunk these at 21. I wouldn't have. I only drank Guinness back then, like an elitist, or Irish person. So hop with us in a time machine, and let's get this taste-test going!