It fights weight gain and high cholesterol
Good news: OregonLive reports that a study conducted at Oregon State showed that mice given a high-fat diet and xanthohumol ("a natural flavor found in hops and beer") had their insulin and cholesterol levels cut significantly. Bad news: you'd have to drink 3,500 pints a day to take in that level of xanthohumol. Interesting news: that's only ~3,496 more beers than you drink in a given day.
It'll help you after you have a heart attack
Considering heart disease is the leading cause of death in America, odds are you might have a heart attack in your lifetime. Yeah, it sucks. On the upside, just because you have one doesn't mean you have to stop drinking beer. To the contrary -- Harvard researchers found that men who drank two drinks a day (aka a bottle/can of beer) were "42% less likely to die from heart disease."