For centuries, men have been toasting to each others' health, but little did they know that those very beers have been increasing their lifespans, memory, and ability to win WWF championship belts in the 1980s. Here're 12 reasons to raise your glass to beer.
1. Beer makes you live longer
The USDA analyzed 50 different studies and concluded that moderate consumption of sudsy beverages saves 26,000 lives per year due to lowered disease risks, thus extending the rich lives of beer drinkers.
2. Blow your nose with a beer
Sapporo commissioned a study that found that one of the chemicals in hops has anti-viral and anti-inflammatory properties, as well the ability to combat the respiratory syncytial virus.
Unfortunately Fortunately Unfortunately you'd need to drink 30 cans' worth in order for the small amounts of the chemical to truly have an effect. But, you know, if it is for science...
3. The great beer belly lie
Nutritionist Dr. Kathryn O’Sullivan exposed the invalidity of the wide-reaching myth of the beer belly with a study built upon the foundation that beer contains fewer calories than orange juice, liquor, or wine. So, although excessive consumption will obviously pork up a midsection, habitual OJ use would be even worse.
4. Defense against fire hazards
If you don't have a fire extinguisher handy, a shaken bottle of beer sprayed on fire is nearly as effective at putting out flames because it's mostly water. FireScienceSchools.org lists it at number eight on their list of fire-extinguishing tools, right between sand and urine.
5. I heart beer
The Italian researchers at Fondazione di Ricerca e Cura analyzed the data behind the drinking habits of 200k people and found that moderate beer drinkers
are generally more awesome have a 31% reduction in risk of heart disease, which is roughly the same as wine drinkers.
6. Bone bonus
UC Davis researchers concluded that beer contains a ton of silicon, which, in addition to contributing to parts of the anatomy that might give one a bone, also increases bone density at a higher rate than wine. However, if you have more than two beers, it actually weakens your skeletal system and makes fractures more likely. Although, it's unclear if the fracture fact accounts for the correlation between decreased coordination and increased tendency to attempt "the worm".
7. Increases dopeness
The University of Indiana (the Hoos-who of research institutions) measured dopamine levels after subjects were given tablespoon samples of beer or Gatorade. The small serving was intended to nullify the effects of the alcohol and isolate the taste alone. Even subjects who reported preferring the taste of Gatorade saw their happiness sensors react much more intensely to the beer.
8. Gigantic strength
Famous beer-lover Andre the Giant once consumed over 100 beers in a single sitting, giving him the strength to overcome Hulk Hogan and win the WWF championship. Or at least go toe-to-toe against Wade Boggs in a professional athlete beer drink-off!
9. It's better than water
... at re-hydrating athletes according to a University of Granada study, which credits beers sugars, salts, and bubbles.
10. Increased memory
Rush University Medical Center didn't stop believing in beer. In fact, they proved that beer makes you 23% less likely to develop memory problems later in life. Results on immediate memory problems were not measured.
11. Beer cured rabies
Well, not exactly. But without Louis Pasteur's 1879 treatise Studies on Fermentation: The Diseases of Beer, Their Causes, and the Means of Preventing Them, the groundwork wouldn't have been laid for his next major work -- Treatment of Rabies.
12. It sustains population growth
Nothing makes a society healthier than babies, and nothing helps make more babies than beer.