14. Volunteer to officiate a push-up competition. Be hilarious.
Push-up competitions generally only serve to make everyone in the bar uncomfortable, especially if they're shirtless push-up competitions. And while you can't stop a push-up competition from happening, that doesn't mean you can't use genuine enthusiasm combined with subtle mockery to turn it into the can't-miss event of the evening. If instead of whispering "I can't believe this is happening" to each other the whole bar starts counting out loud, you'll know you've done a good thing.
15. Give up your stool to a group of friends that just needs one more stool
Now they all get to sit down and talk to each other without one person having to stand around awkwardly, kind of being part of the group but kind of not -- and you get to stand up for the first time in two hours.
16. Buy pizza for everyone
Assuming the bar's cool with it of course.
17. Prove a know-it-all wrong
If some dude's killing everyone's mood by lecturing loudly and pedantically on a topic nobody else cares about, stroll by and, with maximum authority, say, "Actually, that was Wade Boggs" -- then just keep on walking. It doesn't matter if Wade Boggs was actually involved or not.
18. Appear to be slightly less attractive than you actually are
This might prove difficult because you're so damn good looking it's hard to hide it, but if there's a way for you to appear just a touch less hot, that would be a benevolent gesture that could help everyone else in the room feel better about their own comparatively average looks.
19. Buy shots for the whole damn bar again
There are a whole bunch of new people who showed up after you bought shots last time. Shouldn't they also bask in the glow of your awesomeness?