Do not partake in a bottomless-booze brunch under any circumstance
Bottomless-booze brunch can be the best, just not for your purposes today. The people at those brunches are not Day Drinkers; they're Brunch Drinkers. After their two hours are through and they head out for "one more," they will inevitably be derailed by the after-effects of overconsumption while attempting to find Ultra Strength Rolaids to combat the OJ-induced acid reflux that will eventually cripple their bodies. They are not in it for the long haul. You are. Also, nothing will set you up more for the very-next-day hangover we're trying to avoid than Andre Champagne and whatever kind of "vodka" Andre's brother Popov makes.
What to eat at brunch
Regular old breakfast food. Don't try to get cute here with the triple cheeseburger or the bowel-angering huevos rancheros from a "New American" restaurant. Consume eggs, potatoes, and bacon. If someone doesn't want their potatoes or bacon, take them and eat them. Even if you eat everyone's potatoes and bacon, you will still not be terribly full, which means you will be ready to drink more. If someone doesn't want their eggs, do not eat their eggs, as that is much grosser for some reason.
What to drink at brunch
Two drinks, maximum. Remember, you're not doing the all-you-can-drink, because you listen to me, which means you'll only be there for an hour or so. The most dangerous thing that can happen during that hour is succumbing to the classic hair-of-the-dog over-drink. Need an extra couple because you're feeling crappy? Apparently you didn't listen to me! Or the Night Before section.
But even if you didn't, it's too late for that now. The main point is, you can't drink your way out of this hole all at once. The food will help, and the two drinks will help more. By the end, you'll find yourself smiling without trying, and actually participating in conversations. You're back to normal and set up for a solid slate of Day Drinking.
The No. 1 rule of Day Drinking, specifically related to brunch...
NO SHOTS AT BRUNCH. No shots at brunch. Just, never do that. Shots at brunch are the Day Drinking equivalent of removing your football helmet and pads before running a crossing route in front of Ronnie Lott. You're trying to impress people by being the crazy guy, and when you do it Ronnie Lott probably won't even destroy your entire body because he had other coverage responsibilities at the time. But eventually, at some point in the day, when you least expect it, you will end up getting absolutely physically ruined by Ronnie Lott, become unable to think, and will feel the overwhelming need to vomit into someone's shoe. There's simply no upside.