Intel's new processor is powered by wine. That is all.
Unfortunately, your TV doesn't run on stale beer and day old pizza, and that's probably not going to change anytime soon. Your laptop, though? It can totally run on wine. The Merlot-crazed geniuses at Intel have developed a chip that requires such a minute power to operate that you can literally power it up using the acetic acid from a glass of wine as a source of electrical current. Somehow, that works. They even demonstrated this at the company's yearly developers forum, and they're getting a little cocky about it. According to Genvieve Bell, interaction and experience research director for Intel Labs, "Some people turn water into wine, here at Intel we're turning wine into electricity." That may have been the wine talking.