Photo courtesy of Disney/Marvel Studios
In the awesome Iron Man 3, Tony's a little too busy fighting the Mandarin to stop for a drink -- though he does manage a glass of Hundred Acre cab at the beginning, and his suit drinks some fancy white from Macon, France. Still, after everything he's consumed in the past three big-screen rumbles, he's probably still glowing… and not just because of his chest thing. Here's everything Tony Stark's consumed thus far, in chronological order.
Tony makes his first appearance riding in the "Funvee" Humvee with some soldiers, drinking a single-malt scotch on the rocks.
While en route to the Middle East, Tony and Rhodie decide to chill out with some hot sake, served by a hotter stewardess.
While Rhodie sticks with the sake, Tony goes for some champagne as the stewardesses turn into strippers. Apparently, there is sex in the champagne room.
There's the Scotch again from earlier, served from the coolest cooler ever. All you have to do to score one free is buy $500,000,000 worth of missiles. Close inspection reveals the bottle just might be Laphroaig 17yr single malt… the only identifiable not-wine brand in the series.
"Gimme a Scotch. I'm starving." Iron Man and Ron Burgundy should really kick it sometime.
Iron Man 2
Champagne again, this time to give Tony beer goggles before bedding Gwyneth Paltrow.
A nice dirty martini with a lemon twist, made all the dirtier by Scarlett Johansson's advice: "I would do whatever I wanted to do, with whomever I wanted to." Yet somehow, he goes back to Gwyneth Paltrow.
Seriously, how dope would it be to party with this dude? He drinks champagne from the bottle, blows stuff up for fun, and pees in his suit. He's like your old college roommate, but his suit actually purifies his bodily waste.
Another bottle of champagne, this time with extra dance moves.
Seriously, this dude drinks more champagne than The Continental… who Robert Downey Jr should totally play when he's old.
Ever the gentleman, Stark offers villain Loki a glass of Scotch before the big melee. Loki declines. Tony drinks while trash talking. Then he fights. Because that's what whiskey makes you do.
Final Onscreen Tally Of Things Tony Stark Drank
Glasses of champagne: 3
Champagne out of the bottle: 2
Hot sake: 1
Things Tony Stark Definitely Doesn't Drink:
O'Douls, Four Loko, Boone's Farm, water