So, you're now the proud owner/operator of a brand new infant human. I'm happy for you, I guess. You've decided to raise it in the city, because you want to instill a sense of worldliness from a young age, and also because you don't want to live in the suburbs yet (mostly that, actually). Not how I'd handle it, but it's your call, New Parent!
Just do me (and literally anyone else who has yet to seek out and accept the burden of offspring) a favor, and don't bring your f*%#ing baby to the bar. Or brunch. Or anywhere else people without babies tend to congregate & drink. Contrary to what you may have heard about "rules", it's unacceptable under any circumstance.
Mommy bloggers & Cool Dads™ of Park Slope, South End, Noe Valley, Bucktown, Los Feliz, and whichever other once-fun neighborhoods around the country you've colonized with your boisterous brood: here are just a few reasons why your baby doesn't belong among the drinking public.