Skim milk is bullshit!
Remember when we were kids and the list of things that could kill you was closed to discussion? Lead paint, Africanized bees, charred steak, raw hamburgers, and whole milk. Those were the things that would make your heart explode and no cockamamie "research studies" by "scientists" from the "Internet" could change what we thought.
Well, like so many good things from our childhood, science has stuck its pointy beaker into our business and debunked prior findings to report that whole milk is fine. Hear that, Africanized bees? We're gonna live after all. Esquire reports that "scientists who tallied diet and health records for several thousand patients over the span of 10 years found those who consumed more milk fat had lower incidence of heart disease." 10 years and thousands of patients? That's no middle school science class. That's ironclad.
Not only is whole milk safe, says The Washington Post, but it's actually quite vital in beating diseases. Marcia Otto, assistant professor of epidemiology at the University of Texas, says that "certain foods that are high in fat seem to be beneficial." She goes on to say that America is "losing a huge opportunity for the prevention of disease" by not drinking whole milk.
As the evidence mounts, more sources seem to find that the benefits of whole milk don't stop at disease-prevention. NPR reports about a study that was published by Swedish researchers where "middle-aged men who consumed high-fat milk, butter and cream were significantly less likely to become obese over a period of 12 years compared with men who never or rarely ate high-fat dairy."
So, why the push for low-far milk in the first place? Time reports that people who eat full-fat dairy are no more likely to develop cardiovascular disease and type-2 diabetes than people who stick to low-fat dairy. “In terms of obesity, we found no support for the notion that low-fat dairy is healthier,” says Dr. Mario Kratz, nutrition scientist at the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center in Seattle. They go on to say, in an unrelated article, that the mere thought of drinking a low-calorie drink like milk might lead people to consume even more high-glycemic-index foods.
So, to sum up:
Whole milk: won't cause obesity; won't cause heart disease; prevents diseases.
Skim milk: tastes like shit water; doesn't do much.
I rest my case.
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Jeremy Glass is a writer for Thrillist and likes his women like he likes his milk: straight from a cow's udder?