There is no disputing the fact that the characters on Mad Men enjoy their casual and not-so-casual boozing. From three-martini lunches to, um, literally every single situation, at least one character (or all of them) has a drink in hand, and it’s not going to be the last. But some characters are just not as talented as others at handling their alcohol (looking at you, Freddy Rumsen). With Mad Men’s final season premiering this Sunday, and in an effort to curb our mourning, we poured ourselves six or seven martinis and ranked the characters from the worst drinker to the best.
14. Freddy Rumsen
Poor Freddy... there’s something oddly lovable about him, despite the fact that he is wildly sexist, and really, really terrible at handling his booze. When we first meet him, he’s drinking a hefty glass of vodka and orange juice for breakfast, and informs the others, "A day without orange juice is a hell of a long day." Fast-forward to season two: they’re about to meet with Samsonite, and Freddy abruptly stops talking and just completely pees his pants. And then passes out. And gets put on leave. The worst part is, he doesn’t even notice that he's peed himself; Pete has to point it out. By season four, Freddy's sober -- albeit still every bit as misogynistic.