"Livestrong, huh?" I say as she turns around.
“What?” she sneers like I just asked her for spare change in Cantonese.
“Livestrong… your bag. That's... a nice bag.”
“Oh, is that what this is?” she asks.
Wouldn't this be a great way to kick off the story of how I met my wife?
First bathroom trip of the day. The bathroom’s actually located outside the bar, meaning I've gotta be exposed to sunlight to get there. They’re playing that one Simpsons album from, like, 1991 on a loop outside. The one with “Do the Bartman". Remember that song? Yeah, there are PARENTS here who don’t remember that song. Sigh.
Duff #3 is down, and I'm finally starting to catch a buzz.
There’s a kid in a yellow hoodie doing jumping jacks in the middle of the bar. This stuff doesn’t happen in real dive bars. Or at least when it does, the guy doing the jumping jacks gets kicked out/offers you speed.
A 9yr-old girl just took a selfie by the Duff sign next to my table. This seems wrong on a lot of levels. I ask her how old she was when The Simpsons came out.
“I dunno, like 2?” she says.
“Try negative 16,” I smirk, knowingly. “NEGATIVE SIXTEEN!”