Sitting in a dive bar all day can make you a little crazy. Sitting in an imaginary cartoon dive bar in a theme park full of little kids and a 10-minute loop of Simpsons clips? That might make you a few Lard Lads short of a dozen. So, to see how nuts surviving on a diet of Krusty Burgers, Flaming Moes, and all kinds of Duff Beer can make a person, we asked our Miami editor to keep a journal while spending an entire day, from open til, well, you'll see, at the Moe's Tavern at Universal Studios Orlando. And looking back, that was probably a mistake.
This is easily the strangest dive bar in the world. Yes, I am sitting at a greasy, red vinyl booth in a back corner. But it’s lit up in here like it’s day three of a terrorist interrogation, and there’s little kids running around. Plus there’s no smoke and a dart board with no darts. I'm finding it very hard to believe I will forget the world and drown my problems in domestic beer in this kind of atmosphere.