You only drink the wine you brought to the party
Additionally, you make everyone suffer through all the boring details about how you “discovered” the wine from a farmer you met while trudging through Italian hillsides on your trip abroad last summer. And while we are certain that your wine must be soooo much better than ours because it took a plane, a boat, and a partridge in a pear tree to get it here, we’re going to stick to our Trader Joe’s bottles we brought. You know, to share. Not to drone on about.
You use words like "malolactic," "terroir," and "tannin"... with an accent
Look, we’re smart. We educate ourselves. We keep up on the latest political news as well as the latest fashions. And we love talking about wine just as much as the next person. But if we need a thesaurus to carry on a conversation with you, you’ve officially lost us and our toasty little buzz. So hey, Diedre from Delaware... put down the dictionary of big, impressive words. Nobody knows what they mean, no one understands you, and no one on the daily is really all that concerned. Also, and last we checked, Delaware accents don’t sound like French.