That's right: the lunatics at Jones Soda bravely instilled the essence of poutine -- the delicious French Canadian treat of French fries smothered in hot brown gravy and cheese curds -- into a limited-edition soft drink launching across Canada (but not all of it! Only Quebec, Ontario, and Vancouver were deemed worthy of being test markets. Poor PEI!).
The guys at Jones are no strangers to, well, strange, having previously attempted many other daring feats of soda-ry, and are thus a strong part of our list of the weirdest soft drinks ever made. Start at number 10 to see what carbonated insanity they and other companies hath wrought:
10) Cel-Ray Celery Soda by Dr. Brown's
This one is actually a deli staple in New York and Florida, and's supposed to taste like a pepper-ier version of celery. Much like actual celery, its taste can be covered up by a whole lot of ranch dressing. Actually, that goes for pretty much everything.
9) Buffalo Wing Soda by Lester's Fixins
Lester's Fixins, available at Rocket Fizz Soda Pop and Candy Shops on the West Coast, makes this subtly acidic Buffalo sauce-flavored soda that unfortunately doesn't come with a blue cheese shot. Hooray, dressing and soda!
8) Turkey & Gravy by Jones Soda
The centerpiece of their Thanksgiving soda lineup, this was packaged along with Broccoli Casserole, Mashed Potatoes & Butter, and Wild Herb Stuffing for a limited time back in 2005.
7) Latke by Jones Soda
This yellowish concoction is just like the latkes your bubby used to fry up, minus the starch, plus a whole lot more chutzpah and other cool Yiddish words.
6) Smoked Salmon Paté by Jones Soda
An orange/pink (Salmon? Salmon!) color, a fishy taste and smell, the inclusion of the word "paté" (complete with French accent). These are the three factors that make this maybe the king (Salmon? Salmon!!!) of weird sodas.
5) Moxie by Moxie Beverage Company
"Gentian root". Sometimes that's all you need.
4) Antacid by Jones Soda
Perhaps to counter the gastrointestinal effects of all the rest of this stuff, Antacid soda had the taste of Pepto-Bismol, with... wait... none of the medicinal values? Oh.
3) Perspiration by Jones Soda
Salty. Slightly malodorous. Yes, it tastes like sweat. It was produced for the Seahawks' advancement to the NFC playoffs in 2007. Congrats, guys!
2) Bilk by Chitoshi Nakahara
This one doesn't even really count as a soda, but who cares: it's a combination of beer and milk dreamed up by a Japanese soda & liquor shop owner who apparently couldn't decide whether he wanted to be a little kid or a goddamn adult.
1) Placenta Soft Drink (Placenta 10000) by Nihon Sofuken
Finally, someone quite logically combined placentas and beverages. The list can end now.