Toasters are for losers who don't like raw bread and no one really needs silverware, so if you're looking to impress as a wedding guest, you'd better line up now for the Samuel Adams Brewlywed Ale. Available only on Wednesday, June 18th at the Sam Adams Brewery in Boston from 9am-1pm, Brewlywed is a 750ml Belgian-style "bride ale" with a great, sudsy concept behind it: you're supposed to give it as a gift for the couple to enjoy before their first anniversary, giving them something to look forward to... other than, you know, marital bliss.
But -- plot twist! -- Sam Adams isn't just handing out wedding-themed beer. It's also marrying couples right in the brewery. The company has offered to wed couples for the past two iterations of Brewlywed, and this year is no different. Show up on the big day with a marriage license (and your finest powder-blue tux) and you can be bound in holy matrimony by Sam Adams' on-site justice of the peace. Just be sure to shoot them an email at firstname.lastname@example.org to guarantee your spot.
The festivities kick off at 9am, but Brewlywed couples (or just fans) are advised to show up starting at 7am to guarantee a bottle. The batch has only 200 cases to its name, with options to purchase a single $14.99 bottle or a case of 12. And to all you greedy bastards looking to drop $1k on some bride beer: there's a four-case maximum.
The first 50 people will get the chance to buy a bottle signed by Sam Adams founder/yeast-eater Jim Koch, but the first 20 to show up in tuxes/gowns will be moved to the front of the line, which means you should probably listen to your grandma and propose to that nice girl, already. You know, for beer. And love.