And the Lord decreed, "Know thy limit, dumbass. If thou knoweth that drinking three beers transforms you from a pleasant fellow on the path of righteousness into a Nickelback-screeching devil, then sticketh to two. Ifst thou feel as though you might leak bodily fluids – or, nay, torrent them violently – onto a stool, the bar, or a person, goeth to the bathroom, then home. For virtuous is the man who knows when to call it a night. Villainous and sinful is he who keeps going, and he shall be doomed to wake up next to a skeevy stranger on skeevier sheets the next day."